


Let's Stay at Home and Watch the Discovery Channel Instead

by viciouswishes



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-01
Updated: 2005-08-01
Packaged: 2017-10-09 23:14:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/92656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viciouswishes/pseuds/viciouswishes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gunn and Wesley are sent on a daytime mission to a zoo. No animals or people were actually harmed in the writing of this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Stay at Home and Watch the Discovery Channel Instead

"Possession." Cordelia held her head in pain, face squinting. "The zoo. Two girls in the daylight. God, they're being eaten alive." Angel handed her a trashcan as she threw up.

Gunn grabbed his axe. "Looks like we're on our own, English. Unless Angel's planning on a suntan." He hoped that they didn't need Angel's backup, considering the spell that Wesley would have to perform while fighting. "You'd think that the PTB wouldn't be sending their champion out in the day."

Cordelia groaned and clutched Angel's arm.

"Yes, well, the Powers must have some confidence in us." Wesley gathered supplies for a basic exorcism, placing them in his satchel. "I couldn't imagine why." He smiled.

Gunn snorted. "I doubt that they're counting you winning our Battleship championship as fighting points." He made a face as Wesley put a talisman similar to a dead rat in his bag of magic tricks.

Angel helped Cordelia to the couch. "Will you two just go?" she hissed.

"Someone's just sore that she lost in the first round." Wesley nodded at Gunn, signaling that he was ready.

*****

For a zoo, the place was strangely quiet. Creepy quiet. Like one of those movies where suddenly the people were overwhelmed by zombies or the serial killer. Gunn gripped his axe tighter. At least he had experience beheading those zombies.

"I believe that Cordelia said that they were over by the seal exhibit." Wesley turned up a path labeled 'Northern Express.'

"I wish the damn birds would chirp." Gunn was on edge as they entered a place covered with trees. Sure, the trees made the day cooler, but they also afforded more places to hide whatever was happening. He heard a few girls laughing in the distance.

Wesley signaled him down another path and they both took off sprinting.

The run to the girls was short and densely forested as if there was a surprise waiting around the corner. The path was rough under Gunn's feet as it led into an open circle.

"Oh, aren't they the cutest." A teenage girl bent down to pet one of the three chimpanzees running around near a man dressed in a park uniform. Gunn halted at the circle, ten or more feet from the girls, the trainer, and the monkeys. The monkey looked up at the girl and howled.

The trainer held an orb in his hand and began to chant, seemingly in reaction to Gunn and Wesley's presence. Gunn hoped that Wesley understood what the trainer was saying and had the correct spells in his bag. Monkeys were bad enough without being possessed.

Wesley reached into his bag and pulled out the dead rat talisman. "Get back," he shouted at the girls who stood there confused. Sighing, he started the counter spell.

Gunn stayed frozen as all three of the monkeys' eyes flashed green. Wesley's magic retort had failed. It was time for the weapons, and he gripped his axe tighter. He eyed the trainer and the dying glow of the orb.

A scream filled the air as a monkey bit the girl who was trying to pet it. Her friend ran toward her in an attempt to help. "Gunn," he heard Wesley shout as Wesley put himself between the girls and the possessed monkeys.

Why hadn't Cordelia said anything about it being creepy ass monkeys? Gunn hated monkeys with their beady little eyes and someone always trying to compare humans to them. Alonna had once read an article to him about monkeys abusing people and that was enough to confirm his fear. His palms sweated, and he barely looked as the two girls ran past him, their heels echoing on the pebbly pavement.

A monkey lunged at Gunn, and he brought his axe up, hitting it hard in the head. He didn't care if he killed it, but Wesley might and the zoo definitely would. He looked over at Wesley who was beset by the other two monkeys, but seemed to be holding his own.

"Find the keeper." Wesley brought his sword down, chopping off one of the monkeys' heads. So much for keeping the zoo animals intact. "He should have the orb. Smash it."

Gunn ran down the stairwell that the keeper had taken. A seal swam by the glass, and Gunn breathed a sigh of relief to see flippers. He almost laughed as he tripped an automatic sensor for "Interesting Facts about Seals." Going up the stairs on the other side, he headed toward a door labeled 'Employees Only.'

A jiggle on the handle confirmed that it was locked. He brought his axe up and cut the lock; the door swung open. The area was densely forested, and Gunn bet that it wasn't the seal pen. Hearing rustling over by a group of trees, Gunn ran toward the man. He crossed his fingers that the only animals in here were ducks and other seabirds, but with a crazy keeper possessing monkey, he might've led them into a pen with bears.

"Stay back," the man shouted. Gunn swore that he heard the trainer starting another spell. There was a small bridge between them and another exit. Gunn's axe could probably reach the man, but he wasn't going to join Angel in the cutting off of people's hands club.

"Not likely." Gunn gave some final sprint, closing the distance between them. Reaching out, he grabbed the man's wrist and twisted the man's hand which held the orb.

The man shouted in pain. There was a clear snap when his wrist broke. Better his wrist than his head like his pet monkeys. The orb hit the ground intact and rolled a few feet away.

"Fuck." Releasing the man, Gunn lunged forward and broke the orb with his axe. His knees protested in pain as the hardness of the ground. With a flash of light, the magic from the orb was released. Gunn almost laughed as a bird hopped forward and pecked at the broken sphere.

Gunn looked over to see the keeper holding his wrist to his chest and dialing a phone with the other in a feeding area. All Gunn heard was the words 'security' and 'trespassers' and he took off back toward where he left Wesley.

A mother duck quaked loudly as Gunn jumped over her and her children. Yep, his knees weren't forgiving him anytime soon. He was extra thankful to not see any security or visitors as he exited the pen.

Apparently, he moved too fast to learn anymore facts about seals on his way back through the exhibit. Next time, he was going to stick to the Discovery Channel. But as Gunn approached Wesley, he saw that nature wasn't done with him.

The remaining chimpanzee held onto Wesley's hand, now clearly not possessed anymore. "Gunn, where's the keeper?"

"Calling zoo security on us. Somehow I don't think that a black man with an axe and some British dude with a sword hacking up monkeys is going to go over very well. Broke the bastard's wrist though." Gunn stayed near the entrance to the seal exhibit, far from Wesley and the monkey who were still in the circle in the front of the exhibit.

"I see." Wesley looked down at the chimpanzee. "I'm sorry, but we'll have to leave you here. We'll make sure to contact magic authorities about your keeper."

Gunn sighed. "It's a monkey, English, not a person. Let's get the hell out of here."

Nodding, Wesley let the chimpanzee's hand go, and they hurried to the park's exit. Thankfully, no one was following them, and security seemed to have forgotten their exits. Or maybe they did have the PTB watching over them.

Starting his truck, Gunn hadn't been happier in his life to leave the park. As they pulled onto the freeway, he felt Wesley staring at him.

"I can't have you doing that," Wesley broke the silence. "You froze in battle. We were lucky that there were only three of them and that the keeper was probably only someone dabbling in the black arts. What if there had been more? Or they had been Ghedjr demons with deadly venom?"

"But there weren't," Gunn muttered. His hands gripped the steering wheel tighter. "And I would've killed those demons."

"Then what threw you off today?" Wesley frowned and crossed his arms.

Gunn sighed. Fear wasn't something that he liked to admit. "Monkeys. I fucking hate those creepy things. I'm not some animal trainer."

Wesley laughed. "Monkeys are very intelligent creatures. I'm sure if they hadn't been possessed, they wouldn't have done anything."

Shaking his head, Gunn took the exit that led toward the Hyperion. "Except throw their shit at me."


End file.
